I'm currently 20 weeks (nearly 21 weeks) pregnant, everyday every minute every second means so much to me. The only 2 things I've wanted from my life was to get married and have a child or two. Isn't that most girls dream?
Thirteen years ago I met the most wonderful man. I was 18, he was 23, I had just graduated high school. Lord only knows we endured so much. June 9, 2006, we said our vows. I believe in my heart that was our time. If we would've got married much before then, we probably would not have made it. After everything we've been through our love is stronger now than ever. I honestly think because of all the issues we had only made us stronger. I wouldn't trade a second of my life with him.
For over 6 years we've wanted to start a family (actually its been more like 10 years but 6 years with medical assistance). We've spent (estimating) $40K on fertility meds and procedures to help us. Nothing ever worked, so many times we got our hope up only to be let down. Our fertility journey begin with my OB dr. After 1 year of unsuccessful attempts we were referred to a fertility center in Columbus. During those 6 years, this an estimate of what we done for a pregnancy. We started out on just medicine. Then moved on to medicine and shots (guessing I probably administered 10 self shots of HCG to myself). Next we moved on to injection meds and monitored ultrasounds finishing with insemination's. During this phase, I probably gave myself around 80-90 injections, had around 30 ultrasounds, probably 30+ blood testings done and 9 rounds of insemination's resulting in approximately 4 trips to Columbus per round with a total of about 50+ trips to Columbus over the course of time. In addition, I did have an exploratory surgery in 2008 to see if the was an explanation for infertility, nothing was found. No one can ever say we didn't try because we have put so much into it. I know there are others who have endured the same thing plus more and I feel for them. With just what we have been through, I would NEVER wish any of it on an enemy.
After all, January of 2009 I got pregnant only to find out 8 weeks later it was not a viable pregnancy. We were both crushed. I had to take a medication that would dissolve the pregnancy, this was by far the hardest thing we had been through yet. To know a baby began but for whatever reason could not survive. In addition to the emotional roller coaster, the meds made me so sick! But we made it through.
Few months later we started trying again. Finally December of 2009, we decided it was time to take a "break". Speaking for myself, I was so emotionally drained. I didn't realize until later on how much we had put into trying. Not only time and money but physically and emotionally. January 2010, found out I had some medical issues going on. I committed to changing my lifestyle. I wanted to be in better health. I needed this not only for me but if I should ever become a mother, I want the best for my baby. By March I was down by about 20 pounds (lost a total of about 35lbs in 4 mos), not only did I feel good physically but emotionally felt better than I had in years. No meds in my body messing with my hormones making me feel "crazy". All along though it was still in the back of my mind "I want a baby".
In May I decided I was ready to move on to the next fertility treatment. This was a costly procedure that took 3 months. I visited the dr in Columbus, we talked about starting the testing phase in June (part 1 of the procedure). So I began waiting for my monthly visitor (which I never had regularly until I started losing weight). June came, no period. Third week of June I began feeling a little "different". Being pregnant never even crossed my mind, I was just wanting my period to start so I could begin the testing process. I finally decided on June 18th to take a pregnancy test.......just in case. When it came up PREGNANT, I about passed out. I cried, this can't be real. Its never going to happen for me. I took a photo and sent it to my husband, unfortunately he was not home. I called him, his response was "is that your test"? Well yes honey it is and we are having a baby!
From that moment on, my life has never been the same. Thus far I have cherished every second. For years, I wanted to carry my own child and give birth. I want to experience all the things that go along with pregnancy. Whether its good or bad, I want those feelings. I cannot thank God enough for what he has given us. He has definitely answer many prayers for us.
In the beginning, I was so scared (okay even though I'm 21 weeks I'm still scared) but so afraid experiencing what we did with the last pregnancy. We were so cautious about everything. Our first appointment came about 3 weeks after the positive test. The ultrasound showed a tiny "something" in the uterine (no tubal), then the waiting game began. We needed to wait a little longer to make sure its a viable uterine pregnancy. At 8 weeks we went back to Columbus. There on the ultrasound machine showed our growing little miracle with a heartbeat! Its real, we are having a baby! At that point I was released from Columbus to see my OB dr.
It took at least 3 months for it to sink into me that I'm going to have a baby. It just seems so unreal. I can't believe it happened! On August 12th, I had my first real prenatal appointment and heard that sweet sound of my babies heartbeat. Its a sound that I will always remember. The pregnancy has gone well thus far. A few scary moments but everything is still going well. On October 4th we had a 3D/4D ultrasound to learn we are having a baby girl. For about 30 seconds I was a little disappointed because I could see the hurt in my husbands eyes. He wanted that little boy like most men do. But soon as I saw her moving around, my heart just fell in love. The joy took over, I've never been more happy than I am right now! She has made my dreams come true. I am determined for her to know everyday how much she is loved and wanted. She will be my whole world!
